Friday, December 18, 2009

Meeting Baby

December 18th, 2009

I just realized that I didn't write about our first ultrasound. Does that make me a bad mommy-to-be? I’m not sure why I didn’t write about it, it was such a cool experience. Our little plum was dancing around just like his mamma likes to. We got some great shots; the ultrasound technician said all the movement made her job easy because she could get all sorts of different angles. I didn’t cry, neither did John. I did laugh though. It was this giddy, is this really happening? Sort of laugh. John of course asked the tech if she could determine the sex. She said being the 13th week it was far too early, but she would look anyway. Well let me tell you it certainly looked like a boy, but the tech wouldn’t confirm anything. She said at 13 weeks swollen labia could be mistaken for a penis. No worries, we’ll find out for sure on January 11th. Yes, we’re going to find out the sex. I figure there will be enough surprises the day I give birth, I don’t need one more. Plus John is so convinced it is a boy (as am I to be honest) that we need to know, especially for thinking of a name. Right now our plan is to go in with a few names and not make our final decision until we see the face of our little love child. After all, we want the name to suit. My oma told me that is what she and opa did. They would go in with a few names and then name their baby once they came face to face with it. I think it’s a wonderful way to do it. I also got another good piece of name advice, although I forget who gave it to me. We’re not going to tell anyone what names we’ve chosen until the baby is born. This person told me that if you tell people your potential baby names before the baby is born they will be inclined to share their opinion with you, good or bad, but if you tell them once the baby is born what their name is they will be much less likely to say anything (especially negative) because the decision has already been made. It’s going to be hard for me to keep it a secret, but since everyone will know the sex, if gives us something fun to tell them when the bambino breaks into the world.


I know that the date I have in my posts don't always match the day I actually post them. It's because I write all of my posts into a Word document first and then somtimes I don't get around to posting them right away. Just in case you were wondering... :).

Think Before You Honk! You Could Be Honking At An Emotional Pregnant Woman!

December 17th, 2009

I had a very emotional week. How quickly things change. Last week I was happy, even walking with a skip in my step. This week… man, look out. I was a tornado of emotions. I HATE to blame it on hormones. More so I hate that anyone affected by my emotional week would dismiss it as hormonal, but I guess that’s what I’m going to have to live with for the next 5 months. Every time I get emotional I’ll be the “hormonal pregnant chick”… errrrrr the thought of that really gets my goat.

To relieve an emotional moment at work I decided to go for a walk. I bundled up to brave the frigid outdoors. Unforunately I work in an industrial park so there are no sidewalks, but I didn’t think it would be a big issue. I thought wrong. Cars were whizzing by me so fast slush was going everywhere, including on to my jeans! This one car approached me going so fast I totally went off. I put my hand out (like The Supremes did in their choreography for STOP In The Name of Love) and I shouted at him, “Slow DOWN!” Like he could hear me. God, I must have looked psycho. When he didn’t slow down I got a good splash. I looked down at my jeans and started to cry. I called John. Poor guy didn’t know what to do. He told me just to go home for the afternoon, but I couldn’t just leave work because I felt like crawling into a ball and crying. I stayed on the phone with him until I calmed down a bit. Then I was crossing the street and this woman, who was apparently in quite the rush honked at me. She honked at me, and I have no idea why! Maybe I was walking across the street too slowly for her?! I gave her my best glare and then broke into uncontrollable tears!

I do believe that exercise and fresh air are two of the best remedies for stress, but in this case I couldn’t get back to the warmth of my office quickly enough.

Emergency! ... Break.

December 14th, 2009

Bad start to the day today. It’s cold, damn cold. Winter is here, so that means I have to leave time in the morning to heat up my car before I put my little behind in it. It’s a drag having to go outside 10 minutes before you want to leave just so that you don’t hate every cold second of your ride into work. Oh, and I guess it’s good for the car to heat it up to. Not sure why. So I did that this morning, went out to heat it up. I drive a standard and I guess for some reason… For the first time in my 14 year driving career I started the car, put the emergency break down and then got out of it. I ran back into the house to put my lunch together. When I went to the door to go back out and head to work I noticed the car had moved. About 5 feet to be exact… 5 feet forward so that it was touching our new car. Our new “family car”, the Matrix we bought just two weeks ago. I was panicked, but not freaking out, I mean how much damage could there be? I got in my car and carefully reversed it to survey the situation. My headlights made no doubt about it, there was a massive dent in the Matrix, and my absent minded action put it there. Baby brain?! F*&%! I didn’t want to wake up John to tell him so I called him from work to warn him about what he’d find when he went to start up the car. That’s when the tears started flowing. He was wonderful about it. He didn’t make me feel the least bit guilty. I wonder if he would have been so wonderful and understanding if I wasn’t pregnant. I wonder if it would have happened in the first place if I wasn’t pregnant. I hope this isn’t the first of many absent minded moments. God, knows what kind of damage I might cause.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Hairy Scary

December 10th, 2009

Oh boy. I’m one of those girls. I never thought I would become one. I used to shave my legs and armpits every day! Every day!!! Now, I’ll easily go a week without shaving either! I felt myself slipping as soon as I became pregnant. Now I’ve been maintaining my Brazilian sugaring, but I think that’s just because I don’t want the doctor to think I’ve let myself go. It really dawned on me this morning when I was in the shower and I thought about what day it was. It’s Thursday and John and I call Thursday “date night”. Tonight we’re going to be decorating the Christmas tree and let me tell you, nothing makes me hotter than tinsel and tree ornaments. That being said I took the time to shave this morning. All of a sudden shaving is for special occasions. I’ve become that girl. Oh boy.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

All You Need Is...

December 4th, 2009

Is feeling ridiculously in love a symptom of pregnancy? The last few days, I’ll just look at John and get teary eyed because I feel so much love for him. He has been nothing short of completely amazing, supportive, fun, and nurturing with me. He gives me his love and in turn my love for him multiplies. That truly is how love works isn’t it. Well it didn’t so much in high school. There were some boys that I loved and Lord knows they didn’t love me back. Well maybe love is too strong a word for what I was feeling, but it was a serious like. Combined with high school lust of course. I digress. Back to the man I love right now. The man that I will love until my last day. It’s hard to describe how I feel for him without saying things that have already been said, by other people. Never did I think I would find such a man. I fall harder every day. He makes me a better person. It’s all so cliché and yet so true. I’m just plain giddy in love. Go ahead, gag… Oh wait... sorry to my fellow pregnant readers, I know gagging is a sensitive subject. Did I mention I’m not feeling nearly as nauseas anymore?! I know, you hate me.

Oh Sarah!

December 1st, 2009

I love Sarah Richardson! I just watched her Christmas special where she decorated the most beautiful Christmas tree, and made stockings, and baked cookies, and transformed her already gorgeous house into a festive gathering place for 200 of her closest friends. How fabulous! She has two children; how does she do it all? How does she always look so rested and how does she have time to be so creative and uninhibited in her designs when she’s the mother of two? She must have a nanny. Regardless she is an inspiration. Much like my friend Emily. She owns a store in Almonte called Blackbird. It is a wonderful, beautiful, cheerful, store where you can “find something for every nest”. Clever isn’t she? She has a 10 month old daughter named Clementine and between being a mommy and running her own store she still finds the time to paint her house, make curtains, and do all sorts of interesting crafts. How does she do it?! When I get home I’m lucky if I do a load of laundry. Where will I find the energy to take care of a baby and do anything else beyond what’s absolutely necessary? I suppose time will tell.

On a somewhat related topic (speaking of Sarah Richardson’s gorgeous, huge house) I realized today that it would, most definitely, be fun to be rich. I actually realized this over the course of the last few days. I was shopping for a Christmas promotion at work. I got to go to Holt Renfrew and purchase an $800 gift card. I felt so cool. I’m serious. I am a pregnant 30 year-old and I felt “cool” walking into Holt Renfrew and dropping $800 on a gift card. The woman helping me didn’t know it wasn’t my money; that I was actually expensing it as a prize for a contest called The Christmas Canoe. For all she knew I was walking out of Holt’s that day and going back to my mansion in the Danforth (I was in Toronto this weekend and stopped at the Holt’s there). Of course she didn’t so much as bat an eyelash when I gave her the denomination. Why couldn’t she have at least given me a giant smile and called me Ms. Josie or something cool like that?! I also took a few moments while at Holt’s to ogle a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. What’s with those damn shoes?! I’m usually not such a sucker for brand names (half true), but man I want a pair of those shoes so bad. In nude (the colour nude). Size 6 ½ please. Then today I was doing more shopping for our promotion. I went into Sephora and dropped a quick and easy $150, then I walked across to Coach and purchased a $260 dollar wallet without any buyers remorse what so ever! That’s when it hit me! That complete void of any remorse for my spending must be what it’s like to be rich! And that is why I have concluded being rich would be fun. Very fun. Well, back to sewing those buttons on my 7 year old winter jacket. Seriously.

Where Did That Come From?

November 30th, 2009

This is too weird. Is this normal? I swear when John and I left for Toronto Friday morning I looked more or less normal or ‘unpregnant’. Now we’re back and I seemed to have brought a belly home from the big city with me. I’ve heard about the belly “popping” I just didn’t think it would be quite this drastic. I literally feel like it popped within 48 hours. Mind you I did eat a lot of carbs this weekend. Oh that pizza Saturday night was so good… and that waffle for breakfast with the strawberries and syrup… to die for. But come on, it looks like there’s more than a couple slices of pizza and a waffle down there. It must be a baby.

Look For The Signs

November 28th, 2009

Have you ever been told to look for the signs? I have been told this many times and in turn I have told many people. It’s something I believe. Hang on, I’m going to get a bit hokey here for a second. I truly believe that if you ask for guidance in life, and then open yourself to it signs will come your way. The more open you are, the better your chances are of recognizing the signs. Well let me tell you a little something. For a long time, well before having a child was a real possibility I wrote down the name Haydon as a name I would like to call my son if I had one. Fast forward; I meet the most incredible man I have every met. Warm, funny, selfless and I fall in love with him. Things get serious and two years into our relationship he asks me to move in with him. I say yes, pack up and move out of downtown to the burbs to a street called Haydon Street. When John told me our new address I smiled to myself, making the connection to the baby name I was so fond of. Fast forward a year and a half and I’m pregnant. Boom! Look for the (street) signs.

Morning??? Sickness!

November 23rd, 2009

Just when you think “morning sickness” aka all day sickness is over, BAM! This morning, as I was doing my first Josie and The City report at 6:40 I thought I was going to be morning sick all over the microphone. I felt it crawling up my throat, but it was timid, it moved slowly, it wasn’t totally sure it wanted to exit my mouth so it moved at a pace where I was pretty sure I could control it and finish my break. I got out of out the studio fast and went straight to the comfort of my office with a door and suitable trash bin. I sat there monitoring the vomit which clearly hadn’t made up its mind yet as to whether or not it wanted to expel itself from my body. I felt dizzy. I stayed still. After a few moments I felt safe enough to go to the kitchen and grab some Gingerale. Thankfully that helped. I’m officially in my 14th week now. Am I not done with this? I would be lying if I told you the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. I have let myself wonder, “Am I going to be sick all the way through this pregnancy?” But I know I won’t be. I’m being a baby. Ha! Funny! A baby.

Okay, how about we celebrate the good things. For example, I’m still fitting into my jeans! Oh ya! Fourteen weeks pregnant and the jeans are fitting just fine. I do have to confess a little secret though. I’m afraid to wash them. I’m not one of those people who wash their jeans after every wear anyway. I usually go 2-3 wears before I throw them in the old machine. Well (and this is a big confession). I have maybe let them go a bit longer lately. I’m just afraid that when I pull them out of the wash they won’t fit. I can’t risk that disappointment right now. Actually I have mixed emotions, I’m kind of excited to start showing, for the bump to start growing, but I’m not sure how maternity pants are going to look on me. I have a hell of a time buying pants when I’m my normal size. Those maternity stores better have some extra skinny mirrors or I just might go full on bohemian for the rest of this pregnancy.


November 18th, 2009

I feel so rich. So full. No, I didn’t just hit the casino slots and chow down on their buffet! I’m speaking in a figurative sense. John and I came out! I started with my Oma (grandmother). I told her last night and she practically leapt off the floor. She squeezed me so tight. We cried together and laughed together. Then I got to tell my aunt Wendy because she stopped by my parents place where I was having dinner after visiting Oma. Her reaction was absolutely priceless! She also squeezed me and cried. Then I gave my dad the okay to spread the good word. He immediately went up to his office and sent an email along with the ultrasound picture to his brother and sisters. Within minutes the phone rang. Dad picked up. All I heard was screaming. Ha ha! Aunt Monica. Last night and today the emails and phone calls have been non-stop. I can’t begin to describe how moved I am. I feel so supported. So loved. I feel this sense of calm. What I loved so much about my Oma’s reaction was that there wasn’t even the slightest hesitation in her excitement. It was like a reflex. She didn’t think, she simply acted. Acted with pure joy. Right now I feel nothing but appreciation for my incredible family and friends and partner. Together we are all going to raise this baby. I’m not in this alone, not by a long stretch. All of this positive energy has got to be good for the peach (it’s the size of a peach this week)! I bet it grew a whole centimetre today from all the love! I’m a big ball of moosh (yes, that is a Sex and The City The Movie reference for those of you who recognize it!).

Hello, Nice To Meet You

November 4th, 2009

Welcome to… Josie and The Baby

I am craving my mother. Is that a symptom of being pregnant? I haven’t read anything about it on the daily emails I get from For some reason, since becoming pregnant I feel myself calling my mom more, emailing her more, and every time I converse with her I feel a little bit better. I suppose it makes sense. First of all I haven’t told any of my girlfriends yet so I have no one else to talk to about this little prune growing inside me (Apparently the baby is the size of a prune this week. A couple of weeks ago it was an olive…I love olives.) Beyond that though, and I think more to the heart of the matter, I’m craving my mother because she knows best. She did after all carry yours truly around for 9 months. And she gave birth to me… successfully! That gives me great hope. I spent the first few weeks of pregnancy being scared. Down right scared. I had a bit of an … “Oh no, what have I done?!” thing happening. A bit of an “Oh no, it’s going to have to come out!” thing happening. I think I’m okay with it now, but I’m sure those feelings will pop up periodically over the next few months.

Just today my mom made me thankful for my nausea. She is that good. I wrote her an email telling her that last night I actually thought I had food poisoning because I felt so ill… but as it turns out it was just the prune growing inside me that made me feel so sick. I asked her if she was sick when she was pregnant with me. Then she told me (which I know she’s told me before, but I’m a little forgetful) that she puked every day for the first 3 months of her pregnancy with me. See! Thankful! I can deal with feeling nauseas 24 hours a day, but feeling nauseous and vomiting?! That’s a different kind of miserable. So I’m very thankful I’m not that sick. I’m also thankful that I have the kind of mother that didn’t throw that “Do you know how sick I was with you?” line in my face every time I caused her grief as a child. Mom, I love you! Prune, I love you too… I think.