Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Get. It. Off.

I am so sick of wearing a bra! Bra, bra, bra, 24/7! I’m starting to feel claustrophobic!

For those of you that don’t know what I’m ranting about; a lot of breastfeeding mothers have to wear a bra around the clock because of leaking issues. Last night I had enough, I needed to feel free so I took off the nursing bra and pranced around the house like a 60’s hippie! When it came time to feed Evan I did it sans bra. Unfortunately by the time his feeding was done my top was also finished. There was a stain the size of a watermelon thanks to the dripping faucet of boob juice.

When I’m done breastfeeding I’m burning my nursing bras and going braless for at least a week! I don’t care that it will be cold out, I’ll wear an extra sweater just to have the comfort of NOT wearing a restricting elastic band around my rib cage!

Other than that things are great! Happy Wednesday!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Break Out The Champagne!

John and I said months ago that when Evan slept for 8 straight hours we were going to pop a bottle of champagne and celebrate. At the time Evan was actually sleeping well and had already done 7 straight hours, then he entered a different stage and our hopes of ever getting a taste of the bubbly were dashed. Well on Friday night he did it! Out of nowhere Evan slept from 9pm until 5am! He actually went to bed at 7:30pm, but he stirred at 8:30pm and eventually soothed himself back to sleep. Then when he woke up at 5am I fed him and he went back down until 8:30am, so it was even sweeter than just 9pm to 5am. Of course it’s now Monday and he hasn’t done a stretch like that since, but we got to drink that champagne so I’m happy!

I actually really am happy. Evan is such a wonderful little person. He’s got a real personality now and I like it. He’s very curious and he’s a very good listener. He loves to sit and watch people talk. He’s also strong willed, which is my positive spin on his temperament when he’s hungry or overtired. He loves it when I sing to him and he never faults me for my pitch issues. He can’t get enough of the outdoors, if he is having a fussy time a quick trip to the backyard calms him in an instant. He loves when I wash the creases of his neck during bath time, but he’s not a big fan of getting out of the bath… As I get to know him better I fall deeper in love. Somewhere between giving birth to him and this moment right now I became a mother. Of course technically I was a mother from the get go, but I didn’t feel like one. Now I do. I think it’s a combination of confidence and of getting to know my little guy. And with this I have some exciting news, his name finally feels right. It fits, he’s an Evan through and through. My Evan, forever and always.

Here's Evan in his new favourite thing (this week) the Bumbo chair! Thank you again so much Belly Laughs!

Family fun in Almonte...

Play time with his buddy Rory!

More fun, this time with his friend Ashton!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Evan Just Rolled Over!

My baby boy just rolled over for the first time! Wow! That was amazing! He was so happy afterwards. He rolled from his tummy to his back and when he landed he looked up at me and beamed, as if to say, “Mommy, are you proud?” Of course I picked him up and kissed his little face off and told him I was incredibly proud of him. Then I put him back on his tummy and grabbed the video camera hoping he would do it again so I could capture it for John, but he didn’t have another roll in him.

My goodness, these little creatures are really something to marvel at. I’m in awe.

On a completely different topic I wanted to share with all of you a little something I did for work. I don’t know if any of you are Lady Gaga fans, but recently she posed in a meat bikini for the cover of Vogue Japan and stirred up quite a bit of controversy. Here's the cover...

Well luckily for me my job allows me to do fun things like rock my very own meat bikini! Check it out…

I have to thank Christine from Tripp Photography for taking the shot and doing wonders with photo shop to make my post baby body look pretty darn decent if I do say so myself.

Sorry if I’ve turned any of you off enjoying a juicy steak for a while.

Yesterday I wore a meatkini, this morning my son rolled over for the first time; I wonder what tomorrow will bring. Life is a trip!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Sleep Training

I’m doing it. According to the book that is guiding me through this process it’s 5 days early, they suggest starting at 4 months and Evan won’t be 4 months until the 19th, but his freak outs have hit an all new level so we’re in training and I hope what we learn works for both of us.

Sunday was the breaking point. John and I had to do the most ridiculous things to get him to sleep for his nap. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but we actually howled. Yes, like wolves, to get him to stop crying. The shhh shhh shhh wasn’t working, the rocking, the bouncing, the swaddle, the soother, nothing would calm him. For some reason the howling was the only thing that made him stop crying. John discovered it... Don’t ask me what made him think of trying it. I was reluctant because a) It sounds ridiculous and b) I don’t want to teach Evan that howling is okay. That being said I was on my last nerve Sunday trying to get him down so I tilted my head back and gave him my best wolf howl. I don’t know if he sensed my reluctance, but it didn’t work. I eventually had to call in John, the “big dog” to do the job. I thought to myself, I just howled at my baby… I have hit rock bottom, time to start sleep training.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


I think all new moms are obsessed with sleep. Today is my second day back to work, and I am trying to convince myself that I really don’t need much sleep to function or be happy. As the saying goes, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Now if only that’s how I really felt.

Before Evan I could barely remember what I had for breakfast by the time dinner rolled around. Now I remember (obsess) about every detail of our day, mainly his sleep schedule. I know that Monday night Evan slept from 9:30pm to 2:30am, then woke up for a half an hour feed and went back down until 6:20am. He ate for 7 minutes and then went back down until 9:30am which made my first day back at work easy peasy. I felt rested and I was able to do my on air thing without the sounds of a baby in the background. Last night Evan was not so cooperative. First of all he fought going to sleep yesterday. He fought it hard. This kid has found his voice, you would not believe the octave’s he can hit. I always thought working in radio (and wearing headphones) would cause premature deafness… now I’m thinking Evan will do that for me. When I finally got him down last night, closer to 10pm, I read my book and crashed around 11pm. Through the night Ev was up at 1:20am, then again at 3:30am and then just after 5am. As I heard him cry for me from his crib the word “why?” floated around my head. I’m better off just telling myself it’s unexplainable and convincing myself that sleep is overrated. Errrrr, but then the “why?” creeps back into my head. I want to know why he’s crying so hard when I try to put him down. I want to know why he’s waking up so much. I want to know if it’s something I’m doing and what I can do differently. I want to know that he’s okay and not… oh… possessed by some demon.

Friday, September 3, 2010


It was just a couple of weeks ago that I wrote about making it to the wonderful 3 month mark and how everything was getting easier and Evan was getting more predictable… Well he must have read that post because he is playing a wild game of “Gotchya” this week!

For some reason my little guy has been abnormally fussy and sleep? Ha! He’s fighting it like it’s the devil! Actually today seems to be a bit better, but Tuesday, Wednesday… yesterday, he was not acting like himself. He nearly had me in tears a few times. The things that would usually occupy him (like his Baby Einstein Play Mat) weren’t doing the trick, he wanted to be held and getting him down for his naps and bedtime sleep took every bit of strength in me. He would cry his purple faced, bloody murder cry and wiggle his body like a squirmy worm. Just when I thought he was sleeping and it was safe to put him down his eyes would pop open and he would start balling again. As I paced back and forth with him I thought about what an awful parent I was. I was nervous he was going to get used to being cradled to sleep. I had this overwhelming sense of failure.

In my need to seek help I reluctantly picked up a book that one of John’s clients gave us. I threw my books to the side over a month ago because they were stressing me out, but now the stress was bringing me back to them. Thankfully this book is for me! It’s called The Sleep Easy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack. I started reading it and those feelings of failure dissipated. They didn’t tell me I was a bad mom for allowing Evan to fall asleep in my arms before putting him down, in fact they say in their book that before four months do whatever works! On page 130 they write, “There are no bad habits in the first 4 months. Do whatever you need to do to help your baby sleep.” THANK YOU! Maybe today is a better day because I read that yesterday. Reading that made me relax and stop fretting, so Evan is probably feeding off my new and improved energy.

I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend; I know I will, no matter what!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Back To Work Jitters

As the kids are getting ready to head back to school this girl is getting ready to head back to work. I can hardly believe it, the last three months have gone by at lightning speed.

For those of you that don’t know I work for a radio station called The New Hot 89-9. Now I’m not actually heading back into the studio, I’ll be working from home for the next two months; it’s a way for me to ease back into the working world. I’m very grateful that my job allows me to take these baby steps. Just the same I am a bit nervous. I’m nervous that I’m going to be losing prime sleeping time should Evan have a rough night, I’m nervous that he won’t cooperate and will cry while I’m on the air. I’m nervous that it means I’m one step closer to actually leaving my baby and physically going into work.

As one friend pointed out to me yesterday I am going to be eternally torn now, missing Evan while I’m at work and thinking about work while I’m with Evan. I’ve had moments of doubt about heading back before the year that I could take to be with my little guy, after all you only get one chance at this, but I love my job, I really love it and it’s a big part of who I am so I’m going to try my best to make it happen, and hopefully I won’t feel all that torn… Maybe I’ll even feel better?! Like my life is even richer with wonderful moments, people, experiences… we’ll see.

Here are some fun pics from our last few days of summer (that sounds so sad).

Evan's first boat ride...

Cottage living is so good...