Never A Day Off

In the last week it has really hit me like a ton of bricks. You don’t get a day off from being a mom. An obvious statement, but knowing something is true and actually experiencing it for oneself are two different things. So what is it that’s happened in the last week that has made me truly realize that I am a full-time, 24-7, for eternity mom? I’m pretty sure Evan’s energy brought on this revelation. He’s been sick for a week. He’s had a bad cold, yet his energy has not really been affected. When I’m sick with a cold I’m usually lethargic. Not Evan. Evan just takes his cold on the go, slobbering and snotting all over the place. Snotting, yes, new word! Use it!

I was tired this last week. I was fighting off some nasty germs myself, and all I wanted to do was lie on the couch, read a magazine and sip on some tea, but that is not an option for me anymore. Not with a very active son. I have never worked so hard in my life. I put in a full day at work, then I come home and mother my butt off, then I do house work, and if I’m lucky I get that hour before I have to put myself to bed when I can watch something funny on TV or read a book… The “me time” is the hour I’m cramming into my day. Before Evan it was “me time” pretty much all the time. Good thing I took advantage of it for all those years. Luckily, in many ways, I feel very positive about how I maximize the hours in a day. I can’t believe how much I do, and my sleeping has improved. I hit that pillow and its lights out! There are those moments though when I fantasize about Mary Poppins knocking on my door offering to take Evan for a few hours so I can do whatever I want. I’m fortunate that I have family and friends to watch Evan, but you know, those are always planned “babysitting” type scenarios. It’s not very often where, as a mother, you have someone show up in a random moment of need to give you a break.

Okay, so now I’m tempted to gush about how much I love Evan and how it’s all so worth it. That’s true. My heart absolutely aches with love for him, but that doesn’t change the fact that being a mom is exhausting sometimes and that sometimes I just want a day off and knowing that it is not an option makes me even more exhausted. I’m not going to spoon full of sugar it. That’s the truth!