Day 2

I told myself that if I could get through my first day back at work I would be okay… and it would appear I was right.

Yesterday my alarm went off at 4:30am… not for an Evan related reason, but to get ready for my first day back at the office after 7 and a half months of maternity leave. Well I guess that’s not totally accurate. I technically started back to work three months after Evan was born, but I had the luxury of working from home, and let me tell you, it was a LUXURY. My commute was two sets of stairs and my office attire consisted of pajama bottoms and a cozy hoodie. Yesterday I had to shower (gasp), do my hair (double gasp), put on make-up (… you get the idea) and bust out ‘real clothes’. Thankfully I wasn’t emotional. I had a plan of attack. The night before, when I was starting to feel anxious about leaving my baby I read. I read and read and read until my eyes were shutting on their own. I knew that if I tried to sleep before exhausting myself I would have tossed and turned worrying about how Evan was going to do without me and with our new nanny.

As it turned out I was actually kind of excited when I woke up. I felt like a kid on her first day back to school. I even bought a new outfit for the occasion. Walking down the hall, past Evan’s room, I didn’t even pause. Not for a moment… I didn’t let myself think about leaving him. When I actually got to work it felt… neat. Within a matter of a couple of hours it felt like I had never left! It was nice to be around my wonderful colleagues and it was nice to discuss non-baby related things. That being said, when my eight hour day was up I bolted for the door. Before Evan my days at the office were 10, 11, 12 hours… not anymore. I’ve got a baby to get home to now, some quality time to spend before bed time.

On the way home I thought about stopping at the grocery store as I needed some things for dinner, but I couldn’t bear another 10 minutes away from Evan so I headed straight for home. I walked in the door to discover he was fast asleep enjoying his afternoon nap. I was disappointed, but happy our nanny was able to get him down okay. When he woke up I ran for his room. I nearly kissed his face off and he seemed happy about it. He was all smiles for his mommy and it made me feel like I was the luckiest woman on the planet. I guess he’ll survive my return to work. I guess I will too.