As a grown up there are a few places you can meet new friends. First and foremost I would say you meet new friends through your partner. You usually attempt to befriend the people that matter to the guy or girl you’re dating so there’s that. Then there are the friends you make through work, but beyond that how do we as adults make new friends? If you’re into sports, or yoga, or any other group activities you can meet friends that way, but how about just picking up new friends in say, the grocery store? I attempted this one day months ago and apparently it didn’t go that well.
It all started with Evan’s first doctor’s appointment. John and I started chatting with this woman who was there with her daughter. She was a lovely woman and our friendly banter made our waiting time go by quickly. That same week we bumped into her while we were out and about on a Saturday and once again we exchanged friendly conversation. I said to John afterwards that if we saw her again I was going to ask her to exchange numbers or something because she seemed really cool and I thought maybe we could hang out while I was on maternity leave. Her children are older (6 and 10 or something like that) and she’s a stay at home mom so I figured she could share some of her motherly wisdom with me. Then came the third run-in at our local grocery store no less. Turns out she lives just minutes from where John and I live. We laughed about how funny it was that we had bumped into each other again and that’s when I did it! I said we should hang out; I wrote down my name, number, and email address and gave it to her. I didn’t end up asking for her information in case she felt uncomfortable, I just said if she ever wanted to have coffee or something to give me a call. That call never came. And coincidentally I haven’t bumped into her since. Maybe she’s spotted me in the grocery store and hid until the coast was clear, who knows.
I used to say I don’t need any more friends because I was quite happy with the ones I already had. Then of course I met some fabulous women who have become very dear to me and I realized that was a stupid thing to think. Why would I not be open to bringing more wonderful people into my life, to learn from them, laugh with them?! True, John and I have a hard time juggling quality time with the friends we’ve got, but that’s no reason to shut out potential new friends.
So I gave it a shot and was shot down, no biggie. It was a social experiment and I didn’t die of embarrassment so I’d give it another whirl if the opportunity presented itself. Watch out, I could be coming for you next!
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I agree! There is always room for making new friends or even just to have an interesting coffee conversation :D
ReplyDeleteBeen through the same thing. none of my friends have kids, then the ones I do have arent very understanding that I have a 3 yr old and other priorities. so i never get out. but ive tried what you did, and am too shy. im told im funny and fun to be around, but come 8pm, you know how tired you are. imagine with a 3 yr old after a long day at work! cheers :)
ReplyDeleteTotally agree. Especially as a new Mom, it's so important to meet other moms to share stories! I delivered on November 10th and am hoping to meet some other new moms at the well-baby clinic in my area. You never know where you'll meet new friends!
ReplyDeleteJosie i'll be your friend..lol
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage for trying and agree that having other moms as friends is crutial. Some of my closest friends are women that I met at a drop-in play group at our local community centre when my first child was a newborn. Ten years later we still car pool our kids to activities, watch each others children when required and are always helping each other with the different stages of raising children. I hope that you are able to find the same, it really does take a village to raise a child.
ReplyDeleteHey Josie!
ReplyDeleteI'm glade I'm not alone. I find it so hard to make new friends as an adult(I'm not from this city but my husband is). I often joke with my clients at work about trying to go out and meet other women. Men and women first meet in coffee shop lines, grocery stores, bars, and other social events. But where do you "pick up" new friends? I applaud you for your braveness :)
Josie,
ReplyDeleteThings simply may not look as they seem. I for one is the kind of person that will engage in wonderful conversations in waiting rooms and other social situations. I am often told that I am a very kind and thoughtfull person. I am however guilty of having been given many phone numbers never to have called. There are two main reasons for this. One is that sometimes, I simply felt that the person asking had a much more exciting life than me and that I would simply bore them to death with my simple life. The other reason being that I have tried this a couple of times only to end up being taken advantage of or hurt and caught in some gossip that I just didin't want to be part of.
All this to say, don't feel bad about this. There is always so much more to any story!:)
I to admire your courage. I'm too shy to approach people but if they approach me I'm ok with that. I have 3 kids that are 5, 3 and 8 months. I have a hard time getting out the door somedays and I don't invite friends over because my house always looks like it's been hit by a tornado. But if an old friend or new friend called me and said come over for a coffee or let's go out for coffee I'd be there!!
ReplyDeleteChristina
I agree that it's hard to make friends at our age. I wondered if it was an Ottawa thing. I'm from the Maritimes, and my friends here are still all those I knew back East. So many people seem to be 'closed for business' in the friends department. It's too bad- we should always be open to meeting new people and having new friends. I would've loved to be asked for coffee, so don't feel bad that it didn't work out!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate Josie, I'm a mom of two autistic children and it is so hard to find friends that understand that if I cancel plans because someone's having a melt down at home, it really is because someone is having a meltdown and that I'm not blowing them off. Also, most of the friends I had before the children don't have kids...still. It isn't easy making new friends as adults, I applaud you for your courage!
ReplyDelete